


Companion

by GayerThanATreeFullOfMonkeys



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cas makes poor life choices, Gen, Jimmy as the voice in Cas's head, Vessel Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 03:16:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayerThanATreeFullOfMonkeys/pseuds/GayerThanATreeFullOfMonkeys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was just always there, until he wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Companion

Jimmy had always been there.

Sure sometimes he was asleep, floating around, still basically aware and sometimes Castiel even forced him down into the deep void of unconsciousness (he knew this was to stop Jimmy from feeling the pain that his body was going through but it still terrified him). But most of the time Jimmy was just there, trapped in the mind that had once been his and now belonged to an angel. Sometimes he made comments and Castiel replied, and sometimes they were both silent.

He had never realized before what a silent place a mind could be.

 

He ought to have died a long time ago.Jimmy knew that. He knew that it would have been easier, nicer for him, he should have stopped struggling and fallen backwards into the black that so oft hovered on the outskirts of his vision. Castiel even advised him to, he'd told him in a soft voice that he never used out loud that it would just be like a long sleep, without all this pain and heartache. Jimmy told him 'No offense, but you haven't been making the best decisions lately so I think I'll ignore any advice.'

 

Castiel didn't talk to him for 2 weeks for that.  
Jimmy didn't talk to him either, hard as it was, until they were watching Dean rake up leaves in the backyard and the smirking demon came to offer that deal.

'This is a very bad idea Castiel.' Jimmy said loudly as the angel turned his back on Dean and followed Crowley and wow even Jimmy who never had enjoyed English class could see the symbolism in that.

'I know.'

Jimmy sighed, watching through eyes that had previously been his as the demon snarked and flirted and just generally pulled out every trick in manipulation 101. 'Then why are you doing it?'

Cas was quiet for a day and it was only when they were sitting on a park bench late at night that the angel responded. 'Sometimes you have to do things that you know are bad for the greater good.'

Jimmy scoffed and was preparing a biting retort when Cas pushed him back down into the void of unconsciousness.

 

He tried not to say 'I told you so' when everything backfires spectacularly but then does anyways.

Cas sighs and then they both feel the pressure on his brain, the black ooze reaching up to wrap evil fingers around the mind that Jimmy now calls home. He reels back in terror and Castiel with more frantic fear than Jimmy had ever seen practically throws him in the void and locks and bars the doors. Jimmy sinks into unconsciousness but not before sending up a quick prayer that that evil, wrong blackness dies before it touches his angel. Somehow he knows that this is a stupid thing to pray for. If being the vessel of an angel has taught him anything it's not to put to much stock in faith.

 

He eventually comes out of the void but by then his stupid angel is making more stupid decisions and taking on Sam Winchester's madness. Jimmy cowers with Castiel when Lucifer appears in the corner and begins taunting them. He knows it isn't real....he knows it can't be but he is one with Castiel and they are both shrieking in terror as the Morningstar rips them apart.

 

Then its ok again. Because Dean trusts and needs Castiel and if anything can make the angel happy it is that. But it is only ok for the blink of an eye and then they are in purgatory.

'Go to him.' Jimmy urges at the angel as he leans against a tree, breathing hard. They can both hear Dean's increasingly frantic prayers each night in this horrific place.

'I can't' Castiel replies 'You know that, I have to protect him.'

'Oh God in heaven why did you give me the emotionally constipated angel?' Jimmy mutters sarcastically, rolling his eyes skyward, or at least what he thinks would be skyward if he had a body. 'Maybe he won't be as safe but he wants you next to him. You understand what that means right?'

Castiel is silent but Jimmy knows that he knows. And that'll have to be enough for now because he can see more monsters coming.

 

'I killed him, I killed him' He is babbling, horror and guilt rolling off of his being and Jimmy tries as best he can to shield himself from the stressful emotions inside the angel.

'Shh, Castiel, no you didn't. It wasn't really him, you know that.' He curses Naomi inwardly and hopes that the Winchesters will kill her soon enough for causing his angel pain like this.

'What if I actually do kill him though?'

It's become a habit for the two of them. One asks a hard question and the other falls silent. Jimmy just isn't used to being the one who is silent.

 

Then comes the Fall. They both know what has to happen now. Jimmy has curled himself into a ball and he can feel Castiel's presence like a hand on his shoulder.

'I don't want to do this.' The angel mutters 'You're a part of me, but...'

'An angel can have two people in one vessel, a human can't.' Jimmy finishes, slowly uncurling and smiling as bravely as he can. 'It's aright Castiel. You know I don't regret a single second.'

Castiel smiles sadly 'Than you are less intelligent than I.'

He takes his hand, or what passes for a hand in this odd, dreamlike world they've created for themselves. 'Wouldn't have it any other way Castiel.'

He feels the void reaching up to take him, and this time it is not just a long sleep, it is darker this time, hungrier, it will take him for eternity, and yet for the first time he is not scared of it.

'I'll miss you, Jimmy Novak.' He hears Castiel say, the grip on his hand loosening ever so slightly.

'Right back at you, Castiel.' The void is almost to him and his grip on the angel is weak now but he has one thing left to say. 'Be happy for me alright?'

Then the world is black.

 

  
Castiel opens his eyes and looks around at the world, feeling like he is seeing it for the first time, which in a way he is, through flawed, mortal, human eyes. He smiles very slightly, barely enough for it to be noticeable but he knows Jimmy wouldn't have minded. "I will."

 

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: I now have a fandom blog!! Come talk to me at crossroadsbela.tumblr.com!! I'd love to hear from you guys!


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